Total Eclipse of the Heart;

~~Thursday, April 30, 2009~~

7:31 PM

The ink from my dip pen has splattered all over my desk, paper and hands. Ok, it's not a full blown ink disaster but I've got blotches of ink everywhere. I suppose manga artists have tons of tissues beside them.

I FINALLY COMPLETED INKING.

Coloring is another problem altogether, but at least I can handle, and it's erasable. More about what I'm doing, the sermon I'm doing is on being a LIVING SACRIFICE to God. Sounds contradictory enough since sacrifices in ancient times mean killing a cow. After Jesus' death HE became the perfect priest and the perfect lamb for the sacrifice(amazing how God manages to link the two together though it is hard to understand). So we too, must present our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. I first thought I could illustrate it by "presenting your life to God" and "shipping goods". I seriously don't know what I was thinking! I ended up drawing a "baggage of life", with every single nook and cranny of your entire being in it. Also, it can only go through ONE checkpoint, and that would be God alone. The "baggage" must also meet the terms of God and be stamped with an "ACCEPTED" sign. Cool huh?

Looks like I'll just be revising a bit of Japanese today. I can't bleeding remember all there is. Oh, and I am a tad anxious for NUS applications. I know they take their own sweet time but now my parents are even wondering whether it would come through or not. Tsk. My parents are SO pessimistic.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Monday, April 27, 2009~~

4:34 PM

School again.

I had to teach P6s this time round, so freaking noisy when they have nothing to do. They talked more than they were supposed to finish up their project. But then again, do each one of us really listen in a class? Today is first time me and mel working in school, so had lunch together and raved a bit about kids. We really should go out.

Germany's rendition of the Hetalia Theme song totally made my day. Germany sounds so HAWT. WHY THE HECK AM I RAVING OVER COUNTRIES. Normal people are not supposed to do that, but Hetalia fans do.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Friday, April 24, 2009~~

1:07 PM

School hasn't called me for 3 days, but Mel tells me that its normal. If so irregular may need to find some other school to keep up.

I was watching Animal Planet today on Pet Powers, about pets(dogs especially) being able to attune themselves to the emotions of their owners. Having had my own fair share of witnessing dogs being somewhat telepathic, I could sort of understand how it works. Then I don't know why I JUST CRIED. Maybe it's because I remember that after my aunt passed away, her old Shih Tzu continued waiting at my grandma's door, probably waiting for her owner to come back or something, poor dog. My grandma's old maltese didn't really flinch when my grandma passed away last year, though it's become a bit mellower and grumpier. I regret saying the maltese looked like my grandma lol...but the dog is quite ancient now, but it's still jumpy as usual. Small dogs live for about 15 years and I think this one's lived about 12 or 13 years already. In human years it should be older than my grandfather. Ha, now the house is surrounded with lazy stray cats, unlike 10 years ago where there were 8 big dogs in the house.

Picking up Japanese again, I have to surround myself with reading up particles and verb tenses. So irritating. It's times like that I wish to take up a class to practice with someone. Probably have to wait till uni...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Tuesday, April 21, 2009~~

3:40 PM

First day at school.

My first class was 1 SY, quite a cute class, I just gave them penmanship to do while I sat there starving(I had left my food in the car), or maybe just stirring to allow a few to go to the washroom. What I discovered was that each girl had their own whiteboard, and could draw on it whenever they wanted. The only problem was, the board would become dirty, which would end up in a whole crowd of girls at the sink spraying water everywhere. Then soap suds started coming out from the pipes, so i had to tell them not to use soap. One group let a whiteboard eraser come in contact with water, and still used it to wipe the board. Of course, the obvious happened. The white board turned purple and wet, so I gave them a mound of tissue.

Next was P3, which wasn't so bad given it was 30 min and they were doing a test. Then it was another P1 class to make them do their chinese magazine. And then back to 1 SY to take over art. So there was a huge tantrum later cos I had a special needs girl in my class, and she insisted on sitting together with her classmates to draw. Problem was, she was originally told to sit in front of the teacher and not with the others, so the classmates politely refused, then the girl started pinching and beating people, so I had to intervene and explain but none would give in, so I had to call in the teacher. P1s can really start a fight over everything, but unlike boys its more verbal and there's always a lot of crying, so I have to be counsellor as well.

I think I can get used to this job.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Monday, April 20, 2009~~

7:48 PM

THEY FINALLY CALLED ME TODAY.

But then, I had nursing interview, so I had to decline. DAMNNNNN!!!!!!!

Nursing interview was a bit nervous, they said I was quite tense, I don't know what I said, but more round the lines of "I wanted to be in the healthcare industry so nursing seemed to be the better fit" and "I wish to have a job that benefits people through research and science." Then they asked me if I had a choice of science and nursing which would I choose. I stupidly and honestly said I want science. I totally forgot I was supposed to say it depends. My parents were pissed with me and said now my chance is gone cos I said I want science so they won't consider me anymore, but it really depends, cos I heard some ppl who blatantly said that they didn't really want but they got it anyway. I don't know, my head was really muddled up then.

Oh well, it's really something that I should be comfortable with, cos I'll ultimately be taking something as a job for as long as I can, and it's got to be something I'm interested in, but my dad is still making me do food science...

THEY MUST CALL ME TOMORROW AS WELL.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Wednesday, April 15, 2009~~

11:52 AM

SCGS still hasn't called me and I'm getting bored and pissed off.

Okay, maybe not as bored because Pastor kelvin asked me to do powerpoint and the photos aren't in yet, plus I'm a n00b at powerpoint but at least it's something I can do.

If SCGS doesn't call me within this week i'm going to ask Concord pri. Well 2 schools does make more difference, but I still do hope they call me. Perhaps with 3 other girls teaching there and I signed up the latest I may have been left for reserve BOOOOOO.
Pray that they call me or I'll just rot at home learning my japanese...but anyway I still have to go to the FSC to teach if I have time.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SC call me within this week!!!!!!

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Tuesday, April 14, 2009~~

4:02 PM

I just got the letter yesterday that I was to go for the nursing interview(ohhhh why did i allow my dad to put a 3rd choice?????) I think I'll just have to go for it, since it will be used as a backup. Just afraid that since I don't really want to go for nursing after all, I'll not do my best. Anyway I think my results can just make it into science at most, if not then go FAS. I'd really rather go to either of those 2 anyway, but since interview is just next week I have to make a decision. I think I am the first batch to go or something, since my letter states I am in Interview team A. The rest of my friends who signed for nursing as a choice haven't got their letters yet, but should be coming soon. Drats but even if I do make it through the interview, I'll still be rejecting it if i get the top two courses. Arhhhhh this is getting so irritating, this university applications.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Saturday, April 11, 2009~~

1:34 PM

Yeah, I am back from the Philippines!!!!! This is going to be quite long I suppose.

I feel that during this trip God has shown me much about His faithfulness and grace, all we had to do was to trust in Him to make things work, and that it is He alone who would plant the seeds of the gospel in the hearts of the youths that came to the sports outreach, and also to those who came to watch the video of My Hope Philippines. The ppl were great there, the youths I'd always remember, like Ate Cath, Ate Jing, Ate Deanna, Hannah, Ate Mhy, Ate Arianne, Ate Lovely, Kuya Willy, Kuya Felix, Jerome, and many more I will miss you all man!!!!!! I was the one holding the video camera around, so I caught many moments of the games and everything. Really want to thank my teammates for supporting me in prayer and for the things they have taught me. God has really worked mightily among His people and it shows that God's love is abundant in more ways than one. I thank God for the opportunity to witness the strong faith of the Filipino brethren, and also for showing that under the same sky, we still worship the same God.

Now for the more day to day stuff. Breakfast lunch and dinner were good, even though we had to wash up and look at mountains of plates each day. The walls of our room were paper thin so we can hear Tony snoring next door lol, and there were loads of bugs, but we had loads of talismans(bug patched) to protect us. Then, the chickens are really very on. 4 am and they all set off in chorus. How not to wake up??????? Devotions at 5.30am, not so bad. The next few days were tiring cos we rounded up a lot of kids to play our games, and even though we didn't get 200 youths over, but God put in the number we could handle, so that 80 odd group was a blessing. And the weather is really great, God sent sunny weather with some clouds, despite having rain for the first day or so. Then there was the night film showing, where there were a lot of people who came, and I shared my testimony too, which was really scary and I was shaking like mad on stage lah...but I got through with it and everything went really well. I loved the hospitability of the people there and I could really feel their kindness towards us. Thank you very much!!!!

Oh well, got tons to catch up with, I hope i get good work on good days, and also for long awaited catch up with friends. Toodles!!

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Thursday, April 02, 2009~~

12:49 PM

Today I woke up with abnormal temperature senses. So I woke up at 5am, realised I had major PMS, popped a few pills, realised that I was supposed to take it with food, wrapped my stomach with my blanket and slept until 10.30. Even now I have a hot water bottle stuck down my shirt. At least it started today not tmr or I would have been so sick I can't even get on the plane and I would miss my mission trip boohoohoo but God sure knows how to make things better for me even though I feel absolutely crappy today, heh.

Right, so I'm going to Philippines tmr, without any comfort here in Singapore but I bet God has BIG BIG plans for us down there and I hope to make better friends with the people there and also be able to share more about Christ with them. I really feel a little scared but I know God will give me strength through these days.

I also don't know why, I feel like taking Japanese studies instead, but it would be better if I had something else to go with it, and I like science too. So actually now it doesn't matter where I go in NUS, whether to science or to fass, I still have something I can take there.

Also, Pandora Hearts out today!!!!! I hope I can watch the first episode when i get back, and also watch FMA!!!!!!!!! FMA takes so freaking long to come back but so has Suzumiya haruhi, which I'm not really looking forward to, but at least the spring anime is somewhat good. Hetalia still kicks ass with last weeks episode.

France: England, I have something to tell you...will you...marry me?
England: O_o Whut?!

Oh gosh France you are damn gay man. Nothing beats ItalyxGermany or HRExChibitalia though. Whoever thought country alliances can become a shonen ai fetish! And there is historical evidence to back this up! Ah but there is still the thing that England and France are enemies. I can't wait to see how this turns out.

Ah my hot water bottle has gone cold, got to refill...

expressing the emptiness inside me..