Once upon a time, I was falling in love
 But now, I'm only falling apart
 There's nothing I can do
 A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time, there was light in my life
 But now, there's only love in the dark
 There's nothing I can say
 A total eclipse of the heart

I am always in the dark..

あの女の子

Girl: Gillian Toh aka Retsuya
Age: 19
Schools: IJ Bukit timah, SCGS, SAJC, back to SCGS, NTU SBS
Loves God, anime, drawing, smoked salmon and brie cheese

彼女の欲しい
To be fluent in Japanese by the time I get out of uni
To get a Japanese class somehow without having to spend too much
The Da Girlz to meet together again one day
To get a Wacom tablet and photoshop CS
To live right for God and His plans

私と話すこと


友達

mel. jenny. Esme. Viv. audrie. ARGH cell. BPYM. Sean. Chrisll. Dev. Anime merchandise. uzzy.

過去;

July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 August 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 March 2006 June 2006 November 2006 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 November 2012

感謝;

Designer
Photobucket.
Blogger.
Blogskins.
Picture: Hollowland
Brushes

Thursday, December 25, 2008
2:47 PM

Yep it's that time of the year again and a reminder that this crazy year is coming to a close...I really need to find more things to do during the long break. I dunno if I'll be called in to teach the kids at FSC every day but I'll try it out first and if I feel I need something more hardcore AND a pay I'll try something different. I really can't imagine myself working outside cos I still look like some primary school kid earning money...

Yesterday I went out with SL to Orchard(we really need to find new places only 2 freaking weeks left before going to physical training camp aka ARMY). Went to Kino to let him splurge his 200 bucks on whatever there is like some fanboy stuff. It all adds up to a glorious sum but thanks to vouchers and my member card he just paid $1 something. Compared to the person who spends 2 hrs in the bookstore, only coming out with 1 book and later regretting what she just bought. After makan, went to catch Bolt. Not to bad, given the slew of movies on the list that were not worth watching. Then we travelled to church for dinner, chatting at an elusive part of the church(that my bro said earlier, searched the whole church but couldn't find us) and enjoyed the play and sermon. Really enjoyed the company, thank heavens my bro didn't find us and gossip to the whole church but later in the car he rambled on about not being able to talk to him.

Oh well, gotta bathe, I've got dog and cat fur all over me.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Monday, December 22, 2008
12:13 PM



tamatamatamatama~~~that annoying Keroro thing keeps ringing in my head thanks to Lucky Star. I spotted this on someone's bag at church and I couldn't help but laugh and take a picture.

Bought stuff for people, all that is left is Esme's stuff. Blast and crap I can't even remember what day is her birthday so I'll just find something up.

I seriously need to do something to my hair. My mum thinks of cutting it.....NONONONONO I spent like months regrowing it and I want it to stay that way. But the whole family is trying to save money and my father is becoming too meticulous over his funds...so a lot of things will have to wait. Mehhhhhhh.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Wednesday, December 17, 2008
6:08 PM



My crazy father just decided to bring us all out to Bukit Timah hill for a trek in the freaking hot weather and I must have climbed about 200 steps and stepping in mud. I don't see the whole point in climbing up there actually. There were, however, a lot of interesting wildlife, and once again, another troupe of monkeys.

Next time I'm not living in a place near monkeys.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Tuesday, December 16, 2008
9:17 PM



My cousins have gone back to Malacca, so its back to the old routine. Yet there is always something missing...maybe if I ever cross to ubin or tekong I'll remember that in the middle waters is where my grandmother is laid.

I've been trying out a lot on chibis and proportioning,so that I can create chibis with ease. It's only unique that manga can transit between serious and cute, such a good characteristic.

I'll give a quiz to fill this up.
1. What does your deviantart name mean and why did you join this site?

The name of a character I was obsessed with in my childhood.


2. What fandom were you obsessed with when you joined and what are you into now?

I was and still on Naruto, though at different degrees

3. How many watchers do you have now?

2. I need workout.

4. Name 3 of your favorite artists on DA
1.Pokefreak 2.brokendeathangel 3.akatoki

5. Do you comment, fav, or both?

Depends…

6. Do you participate in clubs' contests here on DA?

Not yet…

7. What is your most popular deviation?
Bah, no one comments.

Yadda yadda >.>;;

8. What are you favorite non-anime TV shows?
Does Avatar count?

9. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Perspective and backgrounds

10. Summer or winter?
My country has only these seasons: Rain, sun, haze.

11. Rain or Sun?
Rain, it has a nice view.

12. What's your favorite type of music?
Visual Kei and J-rock

13. PC or Mac?
Macmacmac

14. Anime or Manga?

Both~~~!

15. Coke or Pepsi?

Is there a diff? Coke.

16. Read or TV?

Read.

17. How many hours a day do you spend on DA?

Not that much unless it’s a lot of deviations.

18. Name a hidden talent

I can literally touch my nose with my tongue.

19. Flash or traditional cartoons?

Nope

20. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?

Like duh. Macs.

21. What are top 3 favorite books?
Does manga count? Argh.


22. Wii or Playstation?

Playstation. I hit people with Wii

23. Name 3 of your favorite bands
T.M.Revolution
An Cafe
Ali Project

24. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
Slowpoke.

25. Do you like Denny's?
Been there once…not bad…

26. What is your favorite emoticon?
XD

28. Have you ever stayed up for 24 hours?
No…need sleep

29. Do you go on YouTube alot?
Quite a bit.

30. Are you a member on any other sites besides DA?
Livejournal.


31. Do you cosplay?
Nope. I wish ;A;

32. Fruits or sweets?
Sweets rule!!!>.<

33. Name 3 artists you admire
Ahhh 1.mandachan 2.pokefreak 3.brokendeathangel

34. Buttered, plain, or salted popcorn?
Salted

35. Have you skipped school?
Me? Skip school? No way!! Unless the lessons are so useless or boring.

36. Have you been on a plane?
Yes~

37. Have you swum in an ocean?
Yep, but I can’t remember when

38. Have you been iceskating?
Yep, at the only rink on the whole island.


39. Favorite vacation spot
ahhh it depends where I go.

40. Ever been on tv?
Never.


41. Favorite salad dressing?
I don’t like salad, but if I had to it is cheese.

42. What do you do to relax?
Do the com lah!

43. What is the last film you saw in the theaters?
Madagascar 2

44. Favorite Sandwich
Ham and cheese.

45. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Japan of course!.

46. Favorite time of the day?
Evening.

47. What did you want to be when you were little?
A doctor. If only I knew about the hard work…

48. What do you want to be now?
Comic artist or anything to do with science.

49. If you could eat with one person, who would it be?
My friends and my family XD

50. What character would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
My brother?

51. When is your birthday?
October 23

52. Favorite type of ice cream?

Chocolate and mint.
53. Last book you read?
My sketching book?

54. Which store would you max out a credit card at?
I am too thrifty.

55. Do you buy / sell / both on ebay?
No

56. What is the most annoying thing people ask you?

Like, are you ok???

57. Favorite all time tv show?
Don’t have one.

58. What was your favorite show as a kid?
Let’s & Go!! My childhood continues to live on…

59. What are you listening to right now?
To the sound of despair...

60. What is the last thing you ate?
Instant noodles.

61. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
Green. Cos I love it??

62. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Normally I don’t notice anything…I’m such a failure…

63. Favorite sport to play?
Tennis! Technically it’s the only sport I play -_-“

64. Favorite Day of the Year?
*thinking*...

65. Hugs or Kisses?
Hugs

66. Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate

67. Favorite Board Game?
Nope.

68. Favorite smells
Bacon

69. What inspires you?
Mangas, Video games, my friends.

70. Do you have any piercings?
My earrings?

71. How many siblings do you have?
1 brother

72. Bacon Bits or croutons?
Bacon bits

73. Favorite Day of the Week?
Saturday~!

74. Favorite phrase?
Aw shaddup…

75. Favorite Restaurant?
Jung Shu jin (Korean restaurant(

76. Favorite animal?
Fox

77. Favorite thing to do outside
Hang out with friends

78. Favorite thing to do when it's raining?
Sleeping...

79. Favorite Disney character
Nemo

80. Do you like coffee? If so, what is your favorite
Don’t drink coffee…

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Monday, December 15, 2008
10:14 AM

With Christmas coming soon, and to officially start becoming a woman, I think my list will be more precise.

1) A nice comfortable bag, but not too expensive like some prada.
2)I need sports shoes. Having only two pairs is pathetic.
3)A speaker. I'm ok with a fluffy one though my bro says a traditional one is better.
4)Black eyeliner
5)My hair rebonded
6)I MUST TRY AND GO SHOPPING LIKE A NORMAL GIRL ARGGHHGJJFIJOSJWDNKJWB
7)Sebastian and Ciel in a wrapped gift box...sadly the Pullip dolls only come in like god knows when.
8)This worked for me the last time. Surprise me!

Now to go off and show my malaysian cousins around town...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Thursday, December 11, 2008
6:32 PM

Death comes quickly, it's hard to bear. Knowing one is safely in the arms of the Lord is only the most comforting.

Of course, I'm not just talking about the movie. Still, I'll just talk about it first before you start hearing me bawl.

SL and I went on a short trip to watch the movie, and basically it's about aliens invading the earth to save it. From the humans. In the place where global warming, deforestation and overuse of fossil fuels (not counting the impending economic crisis), it seems that the aliens want to create a Noah's flood situation in which man's sin leads to God flushing mankind literally. But then the savior comes in the form of Keanu Reeves. Naturally wooden and very Neo-ish, in my opinion, except when he totally bungled the glory of the chinese language. I swear, I nearly bowled over laughing at his feeble attempt to speak chinese to this old man. Ok, so our chinese isn't that disastrous after all.

After that I got a call saying my grandma passed away. Now that was when my world stood still literally. I wasn't in the mood to talk about anything, but I didn't want to blub so hard either, which I really did when I got back to my grandma's house. It was just yesterday when I was patting her hand, and watching the chinese 9pm show. Dammit I just should have stayed longer.

Later I also got the news that my pastor's mother-in-law also died about 30 min later. Cancer is just so terrible. I'd only wish my bio was better so i could understand it.

edit: It's Friday morning, and I'm really tired. Waiting to go home...I have something more to write, but I think that will come later cos I'm using my uncle's com.

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Friday, December 05, 2008
1:00 PM

My bro is a total spendthrift, but I'm still satisfied with the stuff he bought me.



Behold! The DTK shinigami ring!!! However, he should have bought two, cos only one kills the symmetry!!!!



D.Gray-man poker cards. A pic to admire at every card. Stuff I would expect.

Still trying to have the discipline to learn Japanese... this is getting harder than I thought.

expressing the emptiness inside me..